Lord of the Rings Fantasy World | gworraent's Fan Page

Gworraent\\\\\\\'s page

LOTR rocks. The books and the movies of course. Elves(not male elves) are sexylicious.

Funeral Speech Parody
Smeagol (Gollum), from The Lord of the Rings

Hobbitses, Orcses, and Elves
Give us your pointy little ears
We come to bury Caesar, put him down with the dead ones, not to say good about him. No, no good about Caesar, preciousss
The wicked men do evil things that lives after them
(Not like poor good Smeagol, good Smeagol)
But the good is gone, all rotten, like stinking marshes where the dead ones lie
And it is this way with Caesar. Good Brutus, noble Brutus
Tells you Caesar desired to take the precious
If it were true, it was wicked, tricksy, false
Poor, poor Caesar pays for the fault
Brutus tells us to speak, and speak we does
(And Brutus is a good man, not wicked, no,
They are all good men)
We comes to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was our friend, he looked after us, and he was good to Smeagol
Brutus says he was hasty, yesss
And Brutus is a good man.
He captures many and brings them to Rome,
And brings us more money than Smaug hoards in the mountains where the Dwarveses live;
Was Caesar hasty, preciousss?
When Smeagol cries, Caesar cries too;
Desire goes too quickly
But Brutus tells us Caesar was being hasty,
And Brutus is always right.
Did you see with your eyeses, we offers him the precious three times,
And three times does he give it back to us.
It doesn’t seem hasty to us, preciousss.
But Brutus tells us, all of us, says he was hasty!
Brutus is honorable, yesss.
We speaks not to false what Brutus spoke,
We says what we knows
We all loves Caesar, for good reasons we does
Why are we not sad for him?
It leaves us and runs to the beastses, Judgement does,
And the men have lost their eyeses! Forgive Smeagol, good Smeagol;
Our heart lies with Caesar, there in his grave,
And we must stop until it returns to us.